friday the 13th , huh? ... i give up.
you prolly dont know what in the world i'm talking about and i dont intend for you to find out. you dont have to read this. dont bother wasting your time.

today i threw away the most precious things i've ever had (into the trash bin). i had to. i never knew it would be that hard - that it would hurt that bad. i've never wanted anything soo bad in my whole life. i could never have it though... so i give up. so this is how it feels like to be helpless.. i hate it. i hate it with my whole being.. but i will never regret a single thing. even if i possessed a time machine and have the power to change things, i'd never use it... i know all of this had to happen.

the future has never been this blurry. when i was little, i could see everything but now that i'm getting close to it, i could barely open my eyes. it's a paradox. that's my favorite word and it's killing me. i tried telling myself that it's just my hypothalamus(part of the brain-also known as the master gland) sending impulses, thus, causing these ridiculous emotions. i dont know but right now, living is more painful. sleep is my only way out.

i'd prolly end up as a mad scientist.. i need something to get obsessed with. i was hoping time would help me but it's freakin slow; the very epitome of betrayal. *le sigh* oh well..
enough of this nonsense. gotta sleep ...

El Psy Congroo